Beyond a gnarled broken oak branch
blackened and decayed on forest floor,
amid tatted ferns, drifting leaves, and lichen,
beneath outstretched grandmother-oak arms
among a community
of ash, elm, and sycamore,
a cluster of lemon-yellow blossoms
basks in a stream of evanescent sunlight
content in knowing
it is enough.
Grandma Burr's brothers: Gottfried and Friedrich Bamesberger, 1896
Until she died in 1967, my husband's Grandma Marie Burr occasionally shared old photos of her handsome brothers in their Russian uniforms. She described her anguish at their disappearance around 1913 and the hard times she experienced as a young mother in Russia (now Ukraine). She recalled the tensions of the early 1900s -- how the Russians took their land, dissolved their German community of Klein Neudorf, and sent her brothers to the salt mines with life sentences.
In the early 1800s, Russia promised hundreds of German immigrants free farmland, autonomy, and no compulsory military service. However, several generations later, after the 1905 Russian revolution, updated policies displaced thousands of families like the Burrs and Bamesbergers. In a heavy accent, Grandma Burr ended her stories of life in southern Russia with a warning: "Never trust Russia!"
Marie was pregnant when she migrated to the United States in 1913, debarking on a ship from Hamburg, Germany. Accompanying her were her husband Michael and six children--a seventh deceased child remained behind in a grave. Six more children were born in Cheyenne County, Kansas, including my father-in-law Albert and her last child, a son who died in infancy. Marie was a widow in February 1925, when she buried the infant on a wind-swept hill in a cemetery next to the Salem Lutheran Church. Michael had died four months earlier.
Twenty years before the Burrs arrived, my Zimbelman ancestors, with four sons and three daughters, emigrated from Rohrbach, Russia/Ukraine. Michael and Katherina had buried seven children on Russian soil and moved before their oldest son turned 21, the age for conscription into the Russian army. The Zimbelmans settled in Cheyenne County in 1893-- each son eventually cultivating substantial farmland with Russian wheat seeds.
I am grateful for the sacrifices our ancestors, immigrants from a hostile land that is once again filled with people suffering from Russian aggression.
I pray . . .
--for peace in
Ukraine, home of our ancestors, Michael and Marie Bamesberger and Michael and
Katherina Zimbelman,
-- for all displaced persons who have emigrated from violent homelands,
-- for compassionate government immigration policies because through our ancestors “we were
once strangers in a strange land.”
(Leviticus 19:34)
--Gratefully submitted by CD Burr
Elder RiverSoul, emeritus professor of biology, keeps the memory of his deceased wife Imogene Bolls alive through poetry readings at a local retirement community and submissions on Elders Speaking.
"The House Across the Street," appears in Earthbound (Bottom Dog Press, 1989). The house depicted in the poem was one of several homes torn down after the First Presbyterian Church of Manhattan, Kansas bought the rest of the block in hopes of building a new Church.
The image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay is a representation of houses built during the same era as the home mentioned in the poem.
The
House Across the Street
in
my hometown is gone.
So
is Widow Bonham,
with
her white hair tied back in a bun,
swaying
in the wide green swing
on
the wide white porch all the long
lavender
evening I was young.
The
widow and her house belonged
to
the block the way one comes
to
expect the sun. Now there is grass
leaning
wind clear to the corner, and
I
have learned to expect less.
All
the floors of my first farmhouse
have
fallen in; cars park in
my
wedding home; last year the fishing
cabin
was torn down….
Tonight
while wind strains hard
at
the shutters, I think
of
Widow Bonham and, carpenter of mind,
rebuild
my castles board
by
board, and brick by brick,
and
stone by stone.
-- Imogene Bolls poetry, submitted by RiverSoul
Please contact us if you would like to submit a story, poem, reflection, or essay.
Opening a book for the first time often fills me with a subtle wave of adrenaline, similar to the excitement I feel at my team's first game of the season kickoff. Unlike a sporting event, my book and I are alone as I cozy into a chair and focus on the first sentence. I'm eager to establish a new relationship with the author through his or her words, someone who has dedicated years and sometimes decades to write and publish ideas, descriptions, and storylines. I learn something from nearly every genre — ranging from the classics and entertaining mysteries to poetry and nonfiction tomes with extensive footnotes.
Occasionally, a book will cause a major shift or transition within me, and I can no longer hold on to an old way of thinking. Although dozens of books have created shifts, the five books below (three pictured) have firmly established themselves in my psyche. I often think of these books while writing or making everyday decisions, even though I read two of them over forty years ago.
LET'S HAVE HEALTHY CHILDREN By Adelle Davis. My first reading was in 1979 when I was pregnant with my first child. (Not pictured in this blog.) Davis, described as a "food expert," gives the vital nutritional dos and don'ts for expectant mothers, babies, and growing children" (1972). I never adhered to Davis's stringent focus on supplements; however, I was impressed with her evidence that sugar caused many health and psychological problems. To the dismay of my grandparents and other relatives, I shielded my toddlers from candy and sodas, allowing cookies only after meals. I also avoided buying foods containing dyes and preservatives as much as I could. By my third baby in 1986, I occasionally caved to my three children's love of boxed mac and cheese and fruit roll-ups. After the busyness of life with teens and a full-time job, I lost focus on our diets and my health suffered. While I still have issues with some of her suggestions, Davis's book instilled in me a decades-long mindset to observe my body's reaction to foods and to read labels--activities that have aided my slow recovery from chronic illness. (See my upcoming essay, "My Thirty-Year Return to Good Health.")
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee (1960). I saw the movie in 1964 and read the book three times since 1980. (Not pictured.) This novel laid the foundation for my interest in social justice issues when I was nine years old. I could relate to the little girl Scout's curiosity, but it was her father Atticus's courage in confronting racism that continues to inspire me to advocate for equality and justice.
THE NEW INTERNATIONAL STUDY BIBLE (1985). I have read, studied, and contemplated scriptures and notes in the NIV since I bought it in 1985. (Pictured.) This study bible introduced me to the power of scholarly notes accompanying Judeo-Christian scriptures. Notes by historians and an ecumenical group of theologians provided me with a deeper understanding of the original meanings. After nearly four decades, I have discovered diverse lenses through which I might interpret the words of numerous biblical voices and writers. The lens I choose to uphold is that God is the god of love, social justice, healing, and inclusion--connecting with each of us -- rather than a god of retribution who glorifies hate and the killing of innocents. The Love-Thy-Neighbor lens becomes not only a litmus test for the soundness of a Biblical verse but also the way I want to live my life.
QUIET: THE POWER OF INTROVERTS IN A WORLD THAT CAN'T STOP TALKING by Susan Cain (2012). I read this book in 2017. (Pictured.) One powerful cultural message I received growing up was that only extroverts can succeed socially and professionally. This book allowed me — an introspective, rather timid, and sensitive woman who has never been able to tell a joke in a crowd of friends — to embrace my quiet traits. After reading this book, I've become more accepting of my tendencies to live a simpler life. Interestingly, acknowledging the power of my introversion has also made me more comfortable conversing with others.
THE POWER OF NOW by Eckhart Tolle (2004 edition). I first read this book in 2002 when I was suffering from a debilitating illness. (Pictured) I found it interesting but perhaps too simple for my needs. However, twenty years later, in 2022, as I listened to the book while walking on a nature trail, the message created a shift in my awareness. It offers a practice that calms me when the world seems on fire and calms my chattering monkey brain. For the first time in years, I no longer need a sleep aid. Being present has created awe-filled moments during my nature walks, and I listen more attentively when others speak. The beauty of this practice is that it can coexist with my deeply rooted-Christian faith. My practice deepens as I continue to read books by Buddhists that have inspired Tolle.
Which books have shifted your way of thinking?
--C. Burr
Please contact us if you would like to submit a story, poem, reflection, or essay.
Image by Daria Głodowska from Pixabay
I met my friend "Moriah" over two years ago through Thrive!-- a local nonprofit organization "dedicated to reducing poverty by building skills and relationships that strengthen families and individuals."
She is a single mom working up to
fifty hours a week while raising four children, ages 10-14. She grew up
in foster homes, achieved her GED, works for less than $15 per hour, and was
recently accepted to receive a House for Habitat home, which will require over
200 hours of her help during the construction. All her children plan to
go to college and maintain As and Bs.
Recently, Moriah texted me about her 7th-grade
daughter “Serenity,” who wanted to quit track after two days of practice:
Serenity don’t like doing [track] every day. She asked to quit but I
told her since she started, I’d like her to finish.
She said, “Okay Mom, then I’m going to lose every race!”
I said, “Okay. I’ll still cheer for you!”
She asked,” Y’all cheer for a loser?”
I said, “Yes. You’re my daughter and you’re a winner in my
eyes. You tried.”
For more information on Thrive copy and paste: https://www.thriveflinthills.com/
Please contact us if you would like to submit a story, poem, reflection, or essay.
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The photo is of books recommended by elders who meet in a study group called "Theological Reflections." Other elders and regular readers of this group blog responded to the question "What are you reading and why?" Some have provided succinct reviews after the titles. Others have elaborated on books that have inspired them over the years and have written lengthy reviews. For more book reviews, see "Contributors--"BOOKS WE READ."
Myster E
The Greek Way by Edith Hamilton. I got the idea to read this book after I read that Jackie Kennedy gave it to Robert Kennedy after JFK's assassination. The passage that was relevant to the events then is by Aeschylus: "God, whose law it is that he who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God."
It is a fascinating book that describes the beginnings of our Western culture. Here is an excerpt: "We think and feel differently because of what a little Greek town did twenty-four hundred years ago. What was then produced of art and of thought has never been surpassed and very rarely equaled, and the stamp of it is upon all the art and all the thought of the Western world."
Elder Debouli
Rough Sleepers, 2023: This is about a physician, Dr. Jim O’Connell, who worked with the homeless in Boston for over 30 years. It opened up a world for me that I have only touched on the fringes. It is inspiring in its humanity. One of my favorite authors Tracy Kidder followed this doctor for months before he wrote the book.
The Book Thief, a novel by Markus Zusak, 2005. This story is about a young girl who couldn’t read in WWII Munich, Germany, and started stealing books. It gave me tremendous insights into what it was like for poor families in Germany and how they were also victims of Hitler’s war machine. Her family hid a Jew for many months and he taught her to read. Incredibly well written. I couldn’t put it down.
Modern Loss: Candid Conversations about Grief. Beginners Welcome by Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, 2018. This book covers many forms of grief through stories and pictures. I read parts of it after a friend's daughter-in-law died at the age of 41. It is a fresh approach to grief.
Breath by James Nestor, 2020. My daughter-in-law who is becoming a myofunctional therapist highly recommended this. It talks about the importance to our overall health of how we breathe, and how many of us have poor health because of how we breathe. It has good ideas for persons with asthma and respiratory illnesses but is very applicable to all of us.
The Little Liar by Mitch Albom, 2023. A great novel by a well-known author. This is about the Jewish community of 50,000 persons in Thessaloniki, Greece, in WWII. It was the largest community of Jews from the diaspora at the time. Only about 1500 Jews are living there now. I read it because my husband’s aunt’s family was killed by the Germans in WWII (she was saved by my husband’s uncle). She never spoke of this or her Jewish heritage even to her children that we have remained close to. The story is fiction but rich with the culture of Jews in Thessaloniki at that time.
Note: Two of Elder Debuli's book reviews appear in another Elders Speaking blog post -- Autism in Hells and Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity. Her review on Great Bones: Taking Control of Osteoporosis by Keith McCormick will appear in a future post.
Elder D.C.
The Book of Lost Friends by Lisa Wingate. A story of women dealing with the harsh realities of life following the Civil War, and how it impacts modern reality in a poor Southern town.
Elder K, L.
I am reading Think and Grow Rich (by Napoleon Hill) with my son to help him expand into his greatness (because that is the richness we are going for.)
Pussy: A Reclamation (Regna Thomashauer) because I think that the feminine power is the power that will heal the world and the more that we can tap in and share our gifts with the world, the more the human race can step into the next evolution of being.
The Go-Giver (Bob Burg and John Mann) The book is short and on my list of good reads.
Elder Wren-Wren said the following book made a big impact on her:
Fever in the Heartland: The Ku Klux Klan’s Plot To Take Over America, and the Woman who Stopped Them.” By T. Egan.
Please contact us if you would like to add to our list of book reviews. Tell us what you are reading--or what books have made an impact on your life.
Images of numerous people crossing our southern border manufacture within me many conflicting emotions and questions: What are we going to do with the vast numbers? How do we weed out the bad actors? How do we avoid cruelty as they are herded into cages? How do we support landowners and the state of Texas who are inundated with thousands of crossings?
When I'm confronted with such questions, I cling to scriptures that challenge me to not judge, be compassionate, and love my neighbor. It is a challenge at times, especially when I'm asked to be compassionate toward a "neighbor" who humiliates others. I've heard some rather rough language directed toward people seeking a better life in America--even those who arrive legally. Each person has a story.
I am acquainted with a Mexican-born woman who succeeded in crossing the southern border nearly twenty years ago. It took her three tries. Since then, she and her husband have started separate businesses. They pay taxes and are raising two boys who make straight A's in high school. The woman has a sweet smile and speaks in broken English. Her tamales are heavenly, made with organic tortillas and antibiotic-free chicken. Sadly in front of her children, she has been accosted by people in the Walmart parking lot--people who know nothing about her background--calling her names and telling her to go back home.
Of course, not everyone who enters our country becomes a model citizen like my friends, and the immigration issue is complicated, but should we solve the problem with cruelty?
Below are six strong suggestions--mandates?--of how Judeo-Christians should treat immigrants, with a reminder to Christians that our spiritual ancestors (Hebrews) fled an oppressive regime (Egypt).
Hebrew Bible/Old Testament (Complete Jewish Bible translation)
1. Exodus 22:20 (or vs 21 in other versions) "You must neither wrong nor oppress a foreigner (also translated as "alien," "immigrant," "stranger") living among you, for you yourselves were foreigners in the land of Egypt."
2. Exodus 23:9 "You are not to oppress a foreigner, for you know how a foreigner feels, since you were foreigners in the land of Egypt."
3. Leviticus 19:33-34 "If a foreigner stays with you in your land, do not do him wrong. Rather, treat the foreigner staying with you like the native-born among you--you are to love him as yourself, for you were foreigners in the land of Egypt. I am ADONAI your God."
4. Leviticus 24:22 "You are to apply the same standard of judgment to the foreigner as to the citizen, because I am ADONAI your God."
New Testament (Revised Standard Version)
5. Matthew 25:35: "for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me."
6. Hebrews 13:2: "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."
7+. Also see Psalms 146; Deuteronomy 1:16 and 24:17; Ezekiel 22:29 or any scripture highlighting love for others, including our neighbors. Some websites list 30 scriptures with a similar altruistic focus on immigrants.
-----
Americans have always had a "border crisis" and prejudice toward newcomers. When politicians stoke those biases with loaded, emotional rhetoric like "poisoning the blood," we end up with policies that separate children from their parents and people thrown into jails without due process. I even heard the words "concentration camps." Vitriolic words hurt everyone.
Mostly I regard the majority of undocumented immigrants as desperate people with dreams of a better life.
If you are like me --a Caucasian living in the U.S.--we are descendants of immigrants. Some of our ancestors escaped persecution and immigrated to America, including the Irish Catholics before 1850, German-Russians during WWI, and refugees from German-occupied Europe during WWII. And that's an extremely short list of European immigrants.
Conspiracy theories fomenting hatred among U.S. citizens toward foreigners are nothing new. See "When America Despised the Irish: The 19th Century Refugee Crisis" on history.com.
The scriptures remind us to remember our immigrant ancestors when we encourage our leaders to solve the immigration crisis. ". . . .treat the foreigner staying with you like the native-born among you--you are to love him as yourself, for you were foreigners . . . ."
--written by Grandmother Windsong, a somewhat sassy septuagenarian with roots in Kansas, Colorado, North Carolina, Great Britain, Poland, Ukraine, Ireland, Germany, and maybe even India.
Illustration from Pixaba.com. Free download.
-- encaustic by Ann L. Carter
When You Come
to Visit
If you’re coming
in winter
it could be a
little slick on the hill
(only half a mile
on gravel
once you turn off
the Keats Road).
It’s the hill I
thought would be steep
enough for
sledding, but wasn’t,
just so cold that
Rose (only four back then)
was crying before
we made it home.
If it’s spring
when you arrive
you’ll see tulips
as you pull in the
driveway,
growing around
rocks
placed in circles.
Animals are buried
there,
old age, cancer,
cars going too fast.
In summer it will
be hot
but in the evening
we can sit with a
drink under the large oak
in the now unused
horse pasture
(I keep two chairs
there).
I like to watch
the haybales
casting long
shadows
in the neighbor’s
fields.
And if you should
come in fall
and I have found
my energy drained
(for too many
years, it seems),
then near the
door, still uncut,
there will be
dried stalks of sunflowers
rising up through
tangles of morning glory vines,
the seeds
replenishing the ground with hope.
---Ann L. Carter
For more of Ann’s
writing, visit annlcarter.net
For information on
her book “Spiders From Heaven” visit
https://rowepub.com/product/spiders-from-heaven/
Link for art:
https://snwgallery.com/artist-works.php?artistId=260192&artist=Ann%20L.%20Carter
Contact Elders Speaking if you would like to receive email updates or submit your original work.
Elders Speaking group blog celebrates elders -- their wisdom, their creativity, and their reflections.
Browse through our past submissions. You’ll find a variety of topics and styles of writing, including poetry from published and unpublished poets.
We accept submissions (no fees). See "Guidelines & Suggestions for Prose Writing below.
Autism in Heels: The Untold story of Female life on the Spectrum by Jennifer Cook O'Toole, published 2018. The author's husband and two children have high-functioning autism, formerly called Asperger's. She was also diagnosed with the same in her thirties. Previously, she wrote a book in 2012 that has become very popular: The Asperkid's Secret Book of Social Rules, which helps kids on the spectrum to learn social cues. Autism in Heels was well written and gave me many insights about how women/girls with autism can be overlooked, especially those with anorexia.
Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, published 2022. The author is a high-functioning autistic. He definitely puts a new face on autism by emphasizing the gifts that autistic persons bring to our society and the challenges they face as they enter the work world. He opened my mind to accept more neurodiversity in our world and see autism as a gift rather than an abnormality. The title refers to the fact that autistic persons feel they need to hide parts of their personality to "fit in."
Submitted By Elder
Debuli
I have permission from Christina, my mildly autistic daughter, to continue her story in the second part of a series (See Part I: “What’s Wrong With Me? Growing up With Autism.)
Writing about my daughter’s struggles with autism has not been easy--it releases old wounds and reminders of embarrassing behaviors. Her narrative, however, also reveals strong and virtuous characteristics that she developed over time. I’m continually amazed at Christina's persistence and creativity as she adapts to a world that doesn’t understand autism.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, one out of thirty-two children were identified with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in 2020. If Christina were six years old today, she would have probably received a diagnosis of ASD and appropriate therapy when she was a toddler. In 1990, however, only one child in five hundred was labeled "autistic," with violent behaviors requiring institutionalization. Christina's mild behaviors--repetitive movements, rare smiling, not pointing to objects she desired, and more--were not considered significant during her development. [1] Experts told me that she would outgrow those behaviors, social awkwardness, uncontrollable outbursts, and delayed speech.
Christina's communication and motor development lagged a year or more behind her peers. In elementary school, she avoided skipping and jumping and she ran as if weights were strapped to her ankles. Because she is left-handed, she struggled as a child with writing and using scissors--even those designed for lefties. (10% of the general public is left-handed compared to 28% in the autistic population. [2]
I awakened to Christina's sluggish motor development when she performed at a dance recital with other kindergarteners. She looked adorable in a white poodle costume and was noticeably taller than the four and five-year-old girls surrounding her. However, her confusion and lack of coordination were obvious from the start. She turned to the left when the others went right and shot her arms up when the other team members put their hands to their waists. She looked lost. After the routine, the girls laughed and talked amongst themselves. When my daughter tried to communicate, her speech was loud and nonsensical.
Physical and social awkwardness followed Christina throughout elementary school, but she never gave up trying to talk to her peers and develop friendships. Two girls in her class became good friends. One of them lived two blocks away and visited frequently. Giggles radiated from her room as they played with Cabbage Patch dolls and Barbies and danced to "Achy Breaky Heart."
Sixth grade ushered in new games and hurt feelings. Her best friend avoided her and spread cruel rumors--something most of us went through as teens. Understandably, Christina was devastated by the betrayal. One day she refused to go back to school.
Then, she did something rather remarkable for a twelve-year-old with learning disabilities (and undiagnosed ASD). After the emotional outbursts settled down and without my knowledge, she looked up the phone number of a Christian school on the other side of town and made an appointment with the principal. She reasoned that she would be treated better among Christian children. Impressed by her rationale and determination, we were willing to let her try it.
Unfortunately, the new school could not accommodate Christina's special educational needs nor could she establish friendships. By seventh grade, she returned to public middle school, where too many distractions created more anxiety and outbursts. After she was lured into three separate and potentially dangerous situations, I made an appointment with a child psychologist.
Christina met with her doctor for four years. He encouraged my husband and me to be patient with her hysterics, anxiety, and poor choices, which wasn't easy with a naive, impulsive teen who reacted to discipline with childish tantrums. Fortunately, she responded to his mild demeanor and suggestions. He encouraged us to place our daughter in a small public school (in a neighboring small town) that provided special education and a locked-door policy. He looked me in the eyes and said I needed to teach her how to advocate for herself because finding and keeping a job would be tough for her.
I always envisioned possibilities in Christina--that she could learn how to navigate through this unpredictable world, but I also understood that she needed our guidance and protection as she approached adulthood. We had to be extra cautious of the teen years. I envisioned myself holding a glass jar, watching a caterpillar (Christina) inside, hanging on a clipped sprig of dill. The jar protected her while she persistently munched on the stem and its flowers until her gangly body transformed into a chrysalis with a tough shell, which allowed a lovely metamorphosis within. At the right time--when she began emerging from the cocoon with folded wings--I would set the jar outside and watch her inch her way to the mouth of the jar and take off.
---
Christina's tattered wings held strong while she navigated through various endeavors and she developed one of her strongest characteristics--persistence. She persisted through high school, two technical school certificates, and two state exams for Nurse's Assistant and Medication Aide. At twenty-six, she persisted until she graduated with an Associate degree in Office Business Administration.
While Christina pursued post-secondary education, she armed herself with copies of her IEPs explaining her learning disabilities and advocated for tutoring and for more time taking exams. One time an instructor accused her of cheating, but Christina overcame her frustration and hurt feelings and made an appointment with the instructor. I observed the meeting, never saying a word, as Christina calmly presented her case with evidence. The teacher reversed her decision and gave my daughter the passing grade she deserved.
Reasoning, however, rarely succeeded in the numerous low-paying jobs she has had since graduating. After several employers or managers “yelled” at her for not comprehending instructions or not functioning as a multitasker, she tried to schedule meetings to calmly talk through the situation like she did with the instructor. Her requests were usually ignored. Even when she explained her learning difficulties and wrote notes to her nursing supervisor for help, the notes ended up in the trash. She has been accused of making excuses when she tried to explain her needs and of overreacting when openly criticized in front of co-workers and patients.
When Christina was almost 35 years old, she was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Since most communication is spontaneous, Christina, like many adults with autism, struggles with bizarre word usage, misunderstanding directives, and misreading nonverbal clues, such as facial expressions. After intimidating confrontations, she finds it difficult to control her tears and escapes to a bathroom where she can calm herself.
Reading up to three books a month has helped Christina's vocabulary, but she has difficulty describing plots. When she attempts to communicate a new thought or tell a story, her word choice seems out of sync. She can sound uneducated; however, if given the time to express herself, she is quite clever. She often misreads social cues. A colleague who is concentrating on a project might appear angry to Christina and she will obsess for days that the person is mad at her.
There is no cure for ASD. Christina manages her disorder by joking about a misused word or taking a deep breath when talking to a disgruntled client on the phone. Communication is challenging when supervisors and co-workers are as stressed as she is. Like so many underpaid staff, Christina has bounced around the job market, working at over ten different offices, agencies, and facilities in fifteen years. Despite her punctuality and diligence, her job performance reviews, which focus on production and multitasking, are often less than satisfactory.
---
Christina has been
hesitant to mention her disorder in interviews, thinking the company may not
hire someone with ASD. [3] However, after she is
hired for a job, she becomes overwhelmed in an understaffed environment with too many
directives, too many tasks, and too many phone calls.
Despite challenging traits, Christina has typical ASD strengths, which she mentions in job applications and interviews: She is punctual (lateness causes stress), remains laser-focused on a single task, and obeys rules. She has above-average computer skills and is polite. She has also learned to smile genuinely, to listen more, and to talk less. And yet, these benefits are ignored during performance reviews that focus on increased production and multitasking, such as answering phones, while listening to multiple and conflicting directives, updating appointments, filling out forms, and other last-minute activities.
Can anyone truly multitask with consistent, positive outcomes?
Stanford psychology professor Clifford Nass claimed in a 2013 interview that multitasking among students and workers (even those without ASD) can harm concentration, creativity, and efficiency--"wast[ing] more time than it saves." [4] Christina would add to his assessment that multitasking can increase stress and anxiety, which is probably true for most people, but in someone with ASD, the noise and commotion are louder and more distracting.
Even before she knew she had autism, Christina had asked for, but rarely received, sensible adjustments that could potentially create an environment with less stress for herself and her coworkers on the nursing floor or in an office:
---
A while back, Christina
and I experienced heartbreak—again. She thought she had been performing well at
work and looked forward to a raise. When she called me, her voice was shaky and thick with
disappointment as she explained how she suffered through a “bad review.” There would be no raise and she was asked to
improve her output.
With hurtful past
experiences in mind, she never told the owners she had autism during the
original interview or after two performance reviews. “I didn’t want them to
think I was making excuses!” Christina said. She tearfully ruminated over the
number of times she had been misunderstood at other jobs, the number of times she had to search
for employment.
“All I want is to work!”
she said between sobs. “I want to work hard!”
Christina's
anxiety increased over thoughts she might be fired, calling me daily to
discuss her dilemma. If she searched for new employment would disclosure of her
autism on an application prevent her from getting an interview? Or should she
keep her ASD to herself and try harder to prove she was capable, which was her strategy when she interviewed for her current job?
At the end of the week, I
answered the phone, expecting more of the same and wishing I could help her
feel better. But instead of a depressed
tone, she was ecstatic: “This is the best day of my life!”
She explained how she
asked for a meeting with two of her bosses to explain her disorder. After handing
them documents confirming her diagnosis of ASD, their response was something
she had never heard before. They asked
what they could do to accommodate her and agreed she could focus on one task at
a time at a desk away from constant disruptions. Their compassion and kindness moved her (and
me) to tears.
“This is HUGE,” Christina
said. “They understand me. Finally, I’m
working for someone who understands me!”
--written with Christina’s permission by her mom C. Burr
People with ASD struggle to maintain relationships; however, Christina will celebrate ten years of marriage with
her spouse in May 2024. Feel free to send an encouraging message in the "comment" section below.
[1] A list
of autistic behaviors of infants and children can be found online. https://autismsa.org.au/autism-diagnosis/autism-symptoms/signs-of-autism-in-babies/
[2] Sebastian Ocklenburg Ph.D, “Left-Handedness and Neurodiversity: A Surprising Link,” Psychology Today website, Dec. 18, 2022. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-asymmetric-brain/202212/left-handedness-and-neurodiversity-a-surprising-link#
[3] It is illegal to not hire or fire
people solely because of their ASD.
[4] “The Myth of Multitasking,” heard on
“Talk of the Nation.” May 10, 2013. https://www.npr.org/2013/05/10/182861382/the-myth-of-multitasking
