A few months ago, my mother (photo on left) passed away unexpectedly. She had fallen and hit her head, causing a brain bleed. After a few days of going in and out of consciousness, she was taken off life support and died peacefully, surrounded by family members and her pastor. It was a good death, a peaceful death, something she was ready for at the age of 87. I just don’t know if I was ready for it.
Our family has been blessed with good health. No one in my family of origin had died or had a serious illness. We took our good health for granted.
As a family, we all get along, keep in touch, and visit one another regularly. We were six kids and mom and dad, all coming together occasionally from all over the country, celebrating holidays and special occasions. And then it changed in an instant.
It caught me off guard at how much life changes when the glue that was mom is no longer around. No pep talk phone calls, no cards in the mail, no shoulder to cry on. No good advice on how to continue raising my own adult kids.
How many of my own friends "of a certain age" have lost their parents? Most all of them have lost at least one parent. I have been sympathetic, but I couldn’t really imagine the hole that it can leave in your life.
Now it is "us kids'" turn to take care of dad. This pillar of a man--take charge, work hard, good provider--has been reduced to a shell of his former self. He is lost without her. His ache is palpable.
We six take turns to stay with Dad for weeks at a time, so that he is never alone. It’s what we do as a family. And in doing so, we sadly see a near future when we will become orphans, and what will need to be done to dissolve the family home where so much love and life was shared.
It has made me more conscious of what I need to do and plan for my own kids upon my passing. They will have each other, and for that, I am grateful. I will do my best to prepare them for a world in which they become "the elders" and carry on our family legacy.
I am grateful for the life I have been given, and for the promise and hope of reuniting in heaven--continuing the legacy of love through eternity.
--lovingly submitted by Elder D
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