“Our Forever Home”
In their 50s, the wealthy
couple oohs and ahhs as they search for their beachfront retirement home, their
“forever home,” as they call it. I enjoy watching these episodes of “House
Hunters” on HGTV, a network that speaks to our aspirations to remodel our
homes, to purchase the perfect fixer-upper, to find that one perfect property
that will make all our dreams come true.
I, too, love the ocean
view through the floor to ceiling windows, the comfort of a sunken bathtub, the
privacy of bedrooms and decks on multiple levels. And yet, I wonder about the
glib use of the phrase “forever home.” Does this couple not have friends and
family members who have limited mobility? Do they not realize that they may
some day be challenged to walk up one step, much less multiple steps on
multiple levels? Don’t they even consider whether or not the doorways are wide
enough to allow wheelchair access?
Since my husband’s stroke
two years ago, I have had my eyes opened to how our homes and businesses are
designed with only a passing thought given to access for those with disabilities.
Building codes regulate some consideration of accessibility, but I these
regulations only meet minimum standards of accessibility, falling short of real
comfort and ease of use for those with disabilities and their caregivers.
Those who are able-bodied
now will almost certainly experience at least a brief period of disability,
such as that following knee replacement surgery. Most of us are quite likely to
experience more significant disabilities, and those who remain physically
unscarred by life will probably serve as caregivers and companions to others
who are disabled. Should we lose access to ocean views or intimate dining
experiences because of disabilities?
No matter what we believe
about the soul, we need to admit that the body is mortal. This truth is not
pleasant, but acknowledging it is key to enabling a more comfortable time in
our declining years, time spent in homes that allow us some independence and
ease of movement, rather than reminding us of physical feats that we are no
longer capable of, acts that were once accomplished effortlessly, such as
climbing up stairs and stepping into a bathtub. Just as our bodies are not our
homes forever, our choices in the design, construction, and purchase of our
houses should consider the very real likelihood of physical and mental decline.
Nothing is forever. Acknowledging that reality will allow more of us to age in
place, without requiring a sudden move following a stroke or other illness.
---Elder Rosewalk
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3 comments:
Twenty years ago my husband and I decided to sell our 4 bedroom, 2 story house and build a ranch in anticipation of problems with mobility as we age. Another choice was to have a walk out basement. Both were good decisions. Our son and 2 year old grand daughter moved in with us. We don't know what challenges we will face as we age and one we have had to deal with is we had not considered that our retirement income was going down more quickly than anticipated. We lookedinto retirement communities and discovered we could not afford anything as nice as our home. Our son,still living with us assured us he would take care of us as long as we needed. Long term planning can not start too soon. All this being said, our trust and faith is still in God who has sustained us through our 60 years of marriage and we find ourselves still active in our church , social activities,gardening, Bob carves, I paint. Life is good.
Thank you Rosewalk for your wise caution about change in mobility needs that could happen to each person or a loved family person or friend. It is a good reminder to help us be more compassionate around these issues.
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