Thursday, June 15, 2017

Our Forever Home by Rosewalk



“Our Forever Home”

In their 50s, the wealthy couple oohs and ahhs as they search for their beachfront retirement home, their “forever home,” as they call it. I enjoy watching these episodes of “House Hunters” on HGTV, a network that speaks to our aspirations to remodel our homes, to purchase the perfect fixer-upper, to find that one perfect property that will make all our dreams come true.

I, too, love the ocean view through the floor to ceiling windows, the comfort of a sunken bathtub, the privacy of bedrooms and decks on multiple levels. And yet, I wonder about the glib use of the phrase “forever home.” Does this couple not have friends and family members who have limited mobility? Do they not realize that they may some day be challenged to walk up one step, much less multiple steps on multiple levels? Don’t they even consider whether or not the doorways are wide enough to allow wheelchair access?

Since my husband’s stroke two years ago, I have had my eyes opened to how our homes and businesses are designed with only a passing thought given to access for those with disabilities. Building codes regulate some consideration of accessibility, but I these regulations only meet minimum standards of accessibility, falling short of real comfort and ease of use for those with disabilities and their caregivers.

Those who are able-bodied now will almost certainly experience at least a brief period of disability, such as that following knee replacement surgery. Most of us are quite likely to experience more significant disabilities, and those who remain physically unscarred by life will probably serve as caregivers and companions to others who are disabled. Should we lose access to ocean views or intimate dining experiences because of disabilities?

No matter what we believe about the soul, we need to admit that the body is mortal. This truth is not pleasant, but acknowledging it is key to enabling a more comfortable time in our declining years, time spent in homes that allow us some independence and ease of movement, rather than reminding us of physical feats that we are no longer capable of, acts that were once accomplished effortlessly, such as climbing up stairs and stepping into a bathtub. Just as our bodies are not our homes forever, our choices in the design, construction, and purchase of our houses should consider the very real likelihood of physical and mental decline. Nothing is forever. Acknowledging that reality will allow more of us to age in place, without requiring a sudden move following a stroke or other illness. 
            ---Elder Rosewalk

  Contact us if you would like to receive email updates or submit your original work. 

3 comments:

Sue Houston said...

Twenty years ago my husband and I decided to sell our 4 bedroom, 2 story house and build a ranch in anticipation of problems with mobility as we age. Another choice was to have a walk out basement. Both were good decisions. Our son and 2 year old grand daughter moved in with us. We don't know what challenges we will face as we age and one we have had to deal with is we had not considered that our retirement income was going down more quickly than anticipated. We lookedinto retirement communities and discovered we could not afford anything as nice as our home. Our son,still living with us assured us he would take care of us as long as we needed. Long term planning can not start too soon. All this being said, our trust and faith is still in God who has sustained us through our 60 years of marriage and we find ourselves still active in our church , social activities,gardening, Bob carves, I paint. Life is good.

Ginny said...

Thank you Rosewalk for your wise caution about change in mobility needs that could happen to each person or a loved family person or friend. It is a good reminder to help us be more compassionate around these issues.

Anonymous said...

I want to thank you for writing this article.This is great article for me. It also more very informative & awesome. click here

Featured Post

Let Us not become weary..."

  Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 Image by  Nicky ...